Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Strange and unknown radio waves coming from under the Antarctic ice "defy particle physics" - Earth.com

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Why aren't F1 cars popular on the street?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

What celebrity do you admire the most?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand how hurricane paths work

What does it mean when someone tells you they love you and want you in their life, but doesn't want to commit?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What do you love to do at night when you’re alone?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I actually pay taxes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What are the legal obligations of a new homeowner if the previous owner leaves furniture in the house after moving out?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What happens when you have paranoid schizophrenia?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Mitsubishi Said in Advanced Talks on $8 Billion Aethon Deal - Bloomberg.com

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Is anyone else losing complete respect for the US at this point?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What is love?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why do you think most harem anime and manga have lame male protagonists that would be considered losers and pathetic by most people?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I see through liars

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Women like what they hear while men like what they see, it that true?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I can read

Why do most people care so much about what others think? Are they afraid of society norms?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Are there any Hollywood celebrities who never divorced? Why does it seem like celebrities are likely to get divorced frequently?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I can count

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fakery

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: